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Confident, how to be more

More confident…have you ever wished you could feel and project just a little bit more of this appealing quality?

The other day I was replying to some comments on a recent fashion post when I noticed something interesting. Two people I had never personally met used the same adjective to describe their perception of me…confident.

This got me thinking, what was it about that picture that would make people assume that I was confident?

Yes, I guess you could say I am a confident person. I’m not sure exactly when this kicked in, but as long as I can remember I have always possessed a can-do attitude. It’s not that I necessarily possess considerably more skill than others, it’s just that I’m willing to get out there and “do it” with my current skill set. I  just believe that I can or, if I can’t, then surely I can figure out how to do just about anything with some research and practice. Either way, I get the job done.

Be More Confident

Confidence is often confused for personality, which could explain why some just assume you have to be born with it. However, I have witnessed people who possess quiet confidence; others have a bold confidence and still others suffer from overconfidence. In each of these cases, the person’s personality only determines how they project their confidence.

Confidence is an internal mindset or an external perception of one’s ability to approach life with optimism, action and purpose.

Have you ever seen the Kevin Costner film, Field of Dreams? If not, let me quickly summarize the plot line. Kevin’s character builds a baseball stadium in the middle of a field because he hears this whisper on the wind, “If you build it, they will come.” Not surprisingly, the people come flooding in at the end of the movie.

I want to propose a similar scenario for developing your own personal confidence. If you want to be more confident, then you’ve got to start…being more confident. Wait, did I just say the same thing twice? Yep, start acting like you are confident. Eventually, you will feel more confident because others will perceive you that way and react accordingly. In essence, you are going to build it and they will come.

How To Appear More Confident

Here’s the picture that received the comments. What can we learn from this picture?

How To Be More Confident

 

1. Put forward the best version of you.

– makeup
– hair
– dress (wear color)

2. Stand up straight

Good posture portrays confidence. It conveys that you know where you are and where you are going.

3. Open posture

Try to maintain a welcoming presence. People are attracted to someone who is open and approachable. Don’t cross your arms when you are speaking to other.

4. Look people in the eye

We’ve all heard that the eyes are windows to the soul. If you want people to connect with you, then they need to feel like they can connect with you. Looking someone in the eye shows that you are interested and invested in the conversation.

5. Smile

I’m talking about a big open mouth, show-your-teeth smile.

6. Pick A Side

Confident people know what they want. It’s OK to speak up for yourself.

Lest You Think Confidence Is All About Appearances

Lest you think that I believe confidence is all show and no substance, I want to leave you with the most important element. You’ve got to know what you believe or as I’ve heard it said, “know in your knower” who you are and what you value.

Our actions are informed by our values. It’s hard to be confident if you don’t know what you believe or stand for. I have a faith and a well-reasoned set of beliefs that dictate my actions and goals. It’s on that foundation that I live my life with purpose and confidence.

Picking a side doesn’t mean you have to argue your position, but it does mean that you have one. When you are confident with who you are and what you believe, then you are less ruffled when people disagree. There’s no need to fight about it; just keep on with what you know is right for you.

So, what do you think? Start this week by picking one element from the list above to focus on.

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12 Comments

  1. Kathleen says:

    Shellie, I do like the way you have verbalized confidence. It makes so much sense reading it. I always appreciate your insight.

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  2. Karren says:

    Though we may not want to admit openly, I think we all feel we could use more confidence from time to time and in different situations. Great post Shellie!!
    Love you pic, you definitely have confidence in all you do!!:)

  3. Crystal says:

    Love it! I think smiling is so important because it helps people feel comfortable with you.

  4. Candace says:

    Great advice Shellie and love that selfie!

  5. Leanne says:

    Some really valid points here Shellie – (and you do look confident in that pic btw!) Confidence is something I’m working on and it is definitely getting easier with midlife because I am more concerned with being true to myself rather than trying to be what others want me to be. I’ll be remembering to stand tall and wear colour now 🙂

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